~~~ Stereotypes ~~~

"I've seen the enemy, and he is me". Or something like that.

Recently, I've been dating a very cute (genetic) girl, though this blog isn't about her. She met me as Gemma, then as my male side, and seems to be okay with both. Before meeting with her, I could do whatever I liked about dressing up. Being Gemma obviously isn't a problem for her either, so still no pressure on me.

So why do my thoughts continually slip into an "anti-tranny" mould?

Before, I would slip into something more comfortable in the evening, or not have a problem going out. Now, it's as though that tranny side of me is slightly embarrasing. I've been trying to work it out, and it's quite illuminating because as it's nothing to do with external pressures, it's all to do with my own mental model of the world; the stereotypes or roles I can possibly adopt. And being a tranny with a cute girlfriend isn't one of them.

From what I understand, as we grow up we observe the world, and build these ideas of possible roles: mother, father, friend, colleague, and so on. And importantly, male and female. They're formed in the first seven years, and are "imprinting" - done at the emotional, not the cognitive, level, and as such are bloody hard to shift. They're ruts in the roadway of our minds, and deep ruts at that.

So - while I was by myself, I could experiment in an area of my mind where there were no ruts. The moment cute girl (CG) came on the scene, I'm in an area where my behaviour has a set of ruts to follow, and it's doing so. Standard male behaviour is coming out, much to Gemma's anguish. I can counter by doing some extravagantly tranny things to drag myself back into that virgin area where I played before, but that ends up distorting the landscape. Much though I like CG (and I'm not letting her go), I'm really missing the carefree, halycon days of yore. I know that if I can overcome the ruts, then CG won't have any issues at all with Gemma expressing herself. In fact, we may even be heading into problems as Gemma is far less in evidence these days because of all the ruts about, and Gemma was one of the things that attracted her to me.

Given all that angst, I considered some friends who have been in this relationship thing from the other side: got married, then started doing their trannying in secret. How much harder for them! No wonder the guilt and anguish: they're living in a world of ruts, have to balance precariously in the small, rut-free areas, and have to constantly struggle to not fall back in. The pressures on them must be incredible. No wonder trannies are confused: their minds are tearing them apart with two irresistable forces: the desire to dress, but the pre-established behaviour patterns not to.

I was chatting with a friend about "Little Britain", and whether the "Ladies" were good or bad (she thought bad, I thought good). I'm even more convinved they're good. Sure, they're laughable. But they're creating a tranny rut in everyone's mind. Those ruts will eventually change, moving from the silly area to part of normal life, just as the emergence of a "gay" rut has changed to something normal or acceptable in our lifetimes. And there's the rub: once those ruts are laid down, they don't change easily, and once you're out of childhood there are so many ruts about in your mind it's hard to create new ones without falling into an existing set of tracks - just look at how a tranny is assumed to be gay; it's the nearest rut the unwashed masses have to think about us in.

So, I don't think we'll get acceptance in our lifetimes, as frankly there's no hope for the older generation. It's the under-sevens who will be the ones who grow up with trannies an everyday item in their mental toolkit, and our role should be to put out a stereotype of the TG community that is positive, vibrant and fun. Not sexual deviants or sad, lonely or confused people.

So go on. Get out and start rutting.